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Welcome to Down Town – a site you never knew about, never cared about, and never dreamed you would visit. You are here because your life just detonated with the blast of an atomic bomb. I know exactly how you feel - at the time of this writing, I have been the father of a Down syndrome child for eight months. Not a long time, really – the pain is still fresh - but long enough that I'm able to look back with some perspective. I'm writing this because I have a few bits of advice that may ease the transition into your new reality. You need to accept three truths: 1. It's not your fault. Nothing you did caused your baby to have Down syndrome. It's just a random genetic mutation. So don't beat yourself up about the pot you smoked in high school or the vitamins you forgot to take during your pregnancy or anything else you did or didn't do. This is one area you don't need to worry about. 2. You can't do anything to change the fact that your child has – and will always have - Down syndrome. You need to accept this and prepare to move on with life. You need to grieve, but don't let your grief consume you. If you are completely overwhelmed right now and feel a bit paralyzed, that's okay - just spend time holding your baby. Look deep into your baby's eyes. See that person looking back at you? That person needs you more than anyone in this world has ever needed you. Please don't forget that. If you have lots of extra energy and you can't sit still and focus, that's okay, too. Try to channel your energy into something productive. Read a book about Down syndrome, check out some DS web sites, or investigate a local support group. Want to know what I did with my extra energy? You're reading it. 3. It gets better. It really does. Life starts to feel normal again, maybe even sooner than you think. Need proof? Read the Blog Watch section of this site to find some extraordinary true stories about how others have dealt with this issue and grown stronger in the process. Or read my own blog, "Down With Oz." I started writing it immediately after the birth of my child – before we even left the hospital. It's extremely painful for me to read those early posts now, but it's as honest as anything I have ever written, and things did get better. You have some time to deal with this. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Your baby will be a baby for awhile. Enjoy this time. Start educating yourself about Down syndrome. Start wrapping your mind around your new reality. Focus on today, don't obsess about life 20 years from now. Gradually, as you are able, you can begin to make plans for the future. You don't have to look very hard to find a huge community of people out there who have dealt with this issue and who are happy to share their advice. Reach out for help when you need it. Welcome to the club that none of us asked to join. I wish you the best of luck. Daniel Niblock, creator of Down Town This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
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